All's Faire in Love
by dS-Tiff
Summary: Immediately after the events of 4.08 - Faire is Foul, Toby has a quick chat with Paige before going home with Happy to work on Operation Baby Quintis.


**This is set immediately after episode 4.08 - _Faire is Foul._ I hope you all enjoy it - all comments welcome, thank you kindly.**

ALL'S FAIRE IN LOVE

"Come on, Mini-Genius, time to go home!" Paige stood with her hands on her hips and waited for her son to answer.

"But Mom!" Ralph protested, grabbing another slice of cold pizza. "The party's not over yet!"

"It's over for you," responded Paige. "Get your coat, now!" She smiled as Ralph reluctantly said goodnight to Sylvester. The party had gone well after the day's earlier dramatic turn of events and she was pleased her son had not been with them when the danger unfolded at the Renaissance Faire, but had been able to enjoy Sylvester's birthday party with the rest of the team.

"You know why he doesn't want to leave, don't you."

Paige hadn't noticed Toby walking over to her and she turned to him and frowned at his comment. "No, why?"

"Because he's still hoping Patty might make an appearance," grinned Toby.

"Sly said she called and told him she probably wouldn't make it because she had homework to finish," Paige responded.

"Probably wouldn't," repeated Toby, glancing over towards the young genius who had one arm in his coat. "That means there's still a glimmer of hope."

"She's not going to show now, it's too late," replied Paige. "Ralph's a genius, I'm sure he's figured that out already."

Toby shrugged. "His hormones are having a good ole' tug-o-war with his genius brain right now, Paige and they're occasionally going to win. You've just got to let him figure all this out for himself."

Paige sighed. "That's pretty much what Walter said the other day," she admitted.

"He did?" Toby's eyebrows shot up under the brim of his hat in surprise. "Well that's a huge breakthrough for One Ninety Seven."

Paige smiled and nodded in agreement. Her son was lucky to have Walter around, he was one of the very few people in the world who understood what it was like to be a teenage genius and Ralph would grow up to be a better man now he had Walter O'Brien in his life.

"Listen, before you go," continued Toby. "I just wanted to apologise for earlier."

"Apologise for what?" asked Paige.

"At the fayre," Toby explained. "I know you needed my advice about Walter and I didn't really pay you enough attention. I'm sorry, I guess I lost a few friendship points."

Paige smiled warmly at him. "Your friendship points are intact. I know you had something else on your mind at the time," she said with a wink. "And besides, what you said was enough. It really made me think and actually I've talked Walter since then and we're all good now. So you have nothing to apologise for. I should be thanking you. I was… well, I was scared there for a while. I was starting to think, after all this time, maybe this whole thing was a big mistake after all."

"You and Walter a mistake? Never!" exclaimed Toby. "You guys are perfect for each other, but relationships aren't always easy."

"I know," nodded Paige. "It was my fault, I was trying too hard."

Toby nodded knowingly. "You sure were," he agreed. "But if you ever need to talk again just let me know, OK?"

"And I'll make sure I schedule my neediness around your love life in future," added Paige with another wink.

Toby laughed. "And talking of my love life, it looks like my beautiful wife is ready to go home too."

They both looked up as Happy and Ralph walked over to join them.

"Goodnight everyone!" Paige called out as the four of them headed towards the door. "Happy Birthday, Sly!"

Sylvester waved at them from across the garage with an enormous grin on his face.

Happy got into her truck, started the engine and waited for Toby to climb into the passenger seat. "Everything OK with the waitress?" she asked and Toby nodded. "Good. Home to bed then?" she added with a twinkle in her eye.

"Sounds good to me," replied Toby, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. "Unless you wanna try the couch again, that was fun."

"The bed'll do just fine," responded Happy. "Pity we didn't get to do it in the hayloft today, though," she added, her voice tinged with disappointment.

"We can try different places you know," suggested Toby. "Whatever tickles your fancy, I'll try anything once."

"Yeah, because you're a perv," noted Happy.

Toby shrugged, he couldn't argue with that. "I was just thinking, maybe some variety will do us good, take the pressure off a little. What do you think?"

Happy thought quietly for a minute as she negotiated the busy downtown traffic. "Maybe," she said eventually. It was true that she was starting to feel a little disappointed that she wasn't pregnant already and she knew Toby was feeling the same. The last thing she wanted was for their lovemaking to become a chore. Perhaps spicing things up would help to make sure things didn't become boring. "You know, it's only been a few weeks," she said eventually.

"What has?" asked Toby.

She glanced across at her husband. "Since we started trying to get pregnant, I mean. I read in one of Paige's magazines that…"

"Oh no, not you as well," Toby interrupted her. "Cabe's been reading women's magazines too."

"Cabe? Why?" asked Happy.

"So he can give me advice about successful copulation," Toby replied.

"Cabe gave you advice about sex?" Happy exclaimed, slamming on the brakes a little too hard at the traffic lights.

"Indeed he did," Toby concurred. "He meant well, but it was really awkward. He wanted to make sure I was… erm, well, that I was satisfying you. He referred to it as the sprinkles on your cupcake."

Happy shuddered. "Gross. I hope you told him… actually, I hope you didn't tell him anything about my… sprinkles." She turned into their street, trying not to think too much about Cabe talking to her husband about such intimate matters. "You have got to get that man back into therapy, Doc," she added as she pulled up outside their house.

"Couldn't agree more, darlin'," said Toby.

They got out of the truck and went inside. Happy closed the front door behind them and activated the security lock Toby had asked her to fit after Mark Collins went on the run.

"Please can I take this stupid outfit off now?" she asked, leaning over and unzipping her boots.

"Oh," whimpered Toby in disappointment. "Not just yet, please?" He stepped closer to her and pulled her into his arms.

Happy thought for a moment. "OK, well how about a compromise?" she offered. "We'll head to the bedroom and you can help me take it off," she suggested.

A huge grin spread across Toby's face. "Sounds good to me," he said.

xXxXxXx

"How were your sprinkles, Cupcake?" Toby smiled adoringly at his wife as she caught her breath. Her hair was plastered to her face with sweat and he gently brushed it away, bringing his fingertips to rest over the pounding pulse in her neck.

"Husband," replied Happy, panting as she adjusted the pillow under her head. "Never, ever, call it that again. Understood?"

"Perfectly." Toby leaned forward and planted a lingering kiss on her lips. He didn't really need her to answer his question, there was no doubt at all that the earth had moved for both of them. He just hoped the magical pregnancy amulet had made all the difference this time. "At least I did something right today," he added, his smile fading.

"What are you talking about?" asked Happy. "You saved that security guard's life today." She pushed herself up onto her elbows and stared at him.

"That was a team effort," noted Toby. "And maybe you wouldn't have needed to jerry-rig the defib in the first place if I'd just spent a little longer triaging the guy before..."

"Hey, stop that right now," Happy ordered, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You were incredible today. It wasn't that long ago that you would have played the 'I'm a psychiatrist not a surgeon' card, but you didn't, you just got straight on with saving his life. The cardio- vascular system is just plumbing, right? So if you'd left that bullet in place he would have arrested anyway, wouldn't he?"

Toby sighed. "I guess," he said, annoyed with himself that he'd so quickly allowed darker thoughts to replace the ecstasy he'd felt just moments earlier.

Happy frowned. "OK, you're never down. We've been in plenty of life or death situations and you still come out with a bunch of stupid wisecracks. It's weird to see you like this, what's going on?"

Toby shook his head. "Nothing," he lied.

"This is about not getting pregnant, isn't it," she said, quietly.

Toby looked directly into her eyes. The dim light accentuated her features and he wondered, not for the first time, why such a beautiful woman had chosen to marry him. He was the luckiest husband in the world and he wasn't at all surprised that she'd figured out the reason for his low mood. He wanted to say something reassuring, but he just couldn't think of anything. "I know we haven't been trying for that long yet, but I guess I just don't have a lot of patience," he said.

"This is what I was trying to tell you earlier," continued Happy. "I read in that magazine of Paige's that the average woman in her early thirties can take up to a year."

"True," agreed Toby. "I know that statistically we have nothing to worry about, but I just… I guess I kinda thought that my gooty would have produced the goods by now…"

Happy scowled at him. "I'm sure your…" she paused, summoning the strength to say the word. "I'm sure your gooty is working just fine. We're months away from even thinking about hitting the panic button yet."

"I know," nodded Toby. Then a small smile returned to his face. "OK, so how about tomorrow evening we take a drive up into the hills. Maybe what we need is fresh air? We'll take a picnic rug, find a nice secluded spot and try some al fresco baby-making. You choose the costume."

Happy smirked. "I love you," she said and pulled him down on top of her again. "And I'm ready for more sprinkles now."

THE END.


End file.
